I QUIT!!!

In order for most junkies to kick their habit, they usually have to get a big "slap in the face."

Well, I've received mine.

So goodbye, Mountain Dew. All that was in the fridge is now in the dumpster. And this time it's permanent! In fact, from now on if I drink any Mountain Dew I will send Kim $20 per indiscretion.

And I guess this is as good a place as any to warn anyone I might come into contact with in the next couple of weeks to stay away. Kristy will be grouchy. In fact, you may want to start sending sympathy cards and flowers to Jason right now.

This Is All About Me

How do I explain this without explaining it?

When I write about my old ruined friendships/relationships, I have no desire to name names or rehash those stories, mainly because the other side wouldn't have a chance to defend themselves. And so I can't exactly say "This is about person A, B, C, and D, and not about person E, F, G, or H."

I do hope people from my past don't automatically assume that when I'm positively or negatively remembering things that it must be about them.

This blog's all about me!

And besides, all the people that my Bob Dylan song refers to are people that I've had no contact with in at least five years. So if you're friends with me on Facebook, or if I know you're reading this, you can consider yourself not "Positively 4th Street"ed.

This reminds of something else that happened to me that I've been dying to vent about. It's kind of related, but not directly... I'm on Ravelry, that knitter/crocheter community website. They have a group called "Mindful Knitters" which is basically Buddhists, but they welcome everybody (like most Buddhists do). There was a thread on there where a woman was venting about how upset she was because Buddhas are used so much as decorative objects. She posted pictures of seat cushions with Buddha's head on them, and a picture of a huge carved relief of Buddha that had been cut vertically into three sections and hung on a wall. Now, Buddha said many many times that he was just a man, and that he was not to be worshipped. But he is essentially the spiritual leader of that religion, much like Jesus Christ is the spiritual leader of Christian churches. So imagine you go into a shop, and you see an enormous carving of Jesus Christ on the cross, but it was cut into thirds. Not the best image, right? So anyway, this woman was simply venting about how this frustrated her, and how she knew it shouldn't, and she was asking if anyone else struggled with this. There were pages and pages of people responding to her with a chastising tone--"We don't worship Buddha!" and "Having his image everywhere simply serves as a reminder, regardless of where it is" and "All attention is good as it will lead people to learn more of Buddhism" and on and on and on. So I left a comment that I could understand why that would upset her, and that I would also be very bothered by the three-piece carved relief. And, of course, I got hit with hundreds more chastising comments, and I stopped counting after I got 4 "Disagree"s. I was asked my opinion, and I stated it! How can you disagree that that is my opinion?? I left that group. What the hell kind of Buddhists are they if you can't even express a bit of frustration? Nobody's perfect, and especially in a community atmosphere you should be, well, nicer than that.

I guess that's the frustrating thing about blogging. I know what I mean. I know what I'm talking about. But I can't stop person A from thinking what they want to about what I write unless I decide to start naming names and start getting more personal. But if I get anymore personal, I'll have to make the blog private, and what's the fun of that?

And one last thing. I'm entitled to my feelings. I'm entitled to my opinions. I'm entitled to be a little politically incorrect. It's not like anybody's paying me to do this. So this is me. Just me.

One of My Favorite Songs

Bob Dylan. There's no doubt he's a very talented, and very odd, little man. I must admit there's only a hand full of his songs that I can stand to listen to...I think it's the nasally, wandering voice that bugs me. Anyway. I do have a point.

I'm really wanting to write a book. I'll finish that "Out of the Forest" book eventually, but reading those Twilight books makes me want to write a girly book. You know, one of those predictable ones where the girl with glasses and a pony-tail wearing paint-covered overalls gets the hot guy? And as research I've been writing down as many memories from my dating days as I can think of. There's some good fodder in there!!

And so it follows...remembering memories of the fellows leads to memories of female friends who were less than friendly (a la Jessica in Twilight).

And here's the point I've been leading to.

My very favorite Bob Dylan song. There are way too many people that I'd like to dedicate this to. Really. Nobody should have more than two people that this song would apply to. But it's probably my fault. I've said it before and I'll say it again, I'm missing that stay-friends-with-people gene. Grudges, man. But how do you let 'em go??? (And there are some guys I'd happily dedicate this song to, too, just so you know.)

Without further rambling nonsense, here are the lyrics to my favorite Bob Dylan song, Positively 4th Street.

You got a lotta nerve to say you are my friend

When I was down you just stood there grinning

You got a lotta nerve to say you got a helping hand to lend

You just want to be on the side that's winning

You say I let you down, you know it's not like that

If you're so hurt, why then don't you show it?

You say you lost your faith, but that's not where it's at

You had no faith to lose and you know it

I know the reason that you talk behind my back

I used to be among the crowd you're in with

Do you take me for such a fool to think I'd make contact

With the one who tries to hide what he don't know to begin with?

You see me on the street, you always act surprised

You say "How are you? Good luck," but you don't mean it

When you know as well as me, you'd rather see me paralyzed

Why don't you just come out once and scream it

No I do not feel that good when I see the heartbreaks you embrace

If I was a master thief perhaps I'd rob them

And now I know you're dissatisfied with your position and your place

Don't you understand it's not my problem

I wish that for just one time you could stand inside my shoes

And just for that one moment I could be you

Yes, I wish that for just one time you could stand inside my shoes

You'd know what a drag it is to see you

See? I bet you could sing that to at least one person, too. Makes me want to learn to play the acoustic guitar (again).

Okay.

Time for go bed now.

Bang Your Head

You know you're getting older when you start experiencing stress at a quantum level.

So, we're trying to move...and for reasons I'm not disclosing for at least another two weeks, this move is proving to be extremely stressful. It's like Jason and I are trying to build a house of cards on a sand dune during a wind storm. Did I make it sound impossible enough? Because that's how it seems to me. I know everything will work out the way it's supposed to, and yeah yeah yeah everybody's gone through the same crap...whatever. I'm allowed to freak out once in a while. I'm a girl. It's like a rule: Girls freak out.

And you can add to that my crazy job that I don't like. Actually let me clarify, this is a good job. I just hate this profession. I'm so sick of coding. So sick of reading hospital charts all day. And I've been putting in way too much overtime. I need some free time for packing and building my house of cards!!

I'm going to have to talk about Twilight again for a minute. Amanda, feel free to stop reading.

The movie sucked for many, many reasons, but I really don't like Robert Pattinson as Edward. He just doesn't fit. But I couldn't think of a better person...until today.
James Franco!! Of course, they would have to have filmed the movie ten years ago before the laugh lines took over his face...but he has the bronze hair, the big mouth-full-of-teeth smile, and, ahem, shoulders. Edward is basically a tragic hero...and there's just much more "hero" in James Franco.

I Want My Two Hours Back

Transformers 2: Revenge of the Fallen.

Not a terrible movie...but not that great a movie. Unlike some people, I won't post spoilers without warning. But I will say--you're probably going to get bored watching this movie.

And I have to vex a bit about my least favorite part of the movie, which is tiny bit spoiler-y, so protect your eyes as necessary.

The SR-71 Blackbird is an awesome plane. And I mean that like "Awe" some, not a Bill&Ted "Awesome!" And if you're going to make the Blackbird into a transformer...make it a cool one, at the very least. And really it should be one of the very coolest and most interesting and most ferocious ones, if you're going to even go that route in the first place.

In short, it should absolutely NOT, under any circumstances, be this kind of transformer...

**VERY SPOILER** Okay so you spend most of the movie bored, figuring out what's going to happen before it happens, and the rest of the time rolling your eyes. But at one point, they find an SR-71. *Interest!* And it's a transformer! *More Interest!* And then, oh no it's a Decepticon!!! *WAHOO!!* Finally something worth watching!! Your interest is piqued! And then...oh the let down. He's old. Rusty. He leaks. And he's using...a cane?!?! What?!!?!

I think that's when I had to start fighting the urge to hate this movie.

I don't hate it. It could have been a lot worse. But it just so was not worth spending our hard-earned cash and braving the crowded theater.