A Very Bad Commercial

There's a commercial I've seen twice that irritates me to the point that I'm angry, which irritates me further. (Who wants something like a commercial to have that much power over their mood??) So to hopefully cleanse my angst, I'll share.

You know those free credit report dot com commercials with the guy playing his guitar and singing a little ditty about how having bad credit sucks, and how if he'd only checked his credit report on this website everything would be okay? Nevermind the obvious that if you're a responsible person and keep track of your financials you'll be fine, too. And don't pay any attention to the fact that you can get a free credit report once a year from each of the three credit reporting agencies without going through a website that's going to try uber hard to get you to sign up for their "credit monitoring service" and who knows what they'll do with your information...but I digress.

One of these commercials starts out with the guy singing about how he found his "dream girl" and married her, only to find out that she defaulted on credit cards and therefore has bad credit. So then they couldn't get a mortgage, and now they're living in her parent's basement. He concludes the song with the wish that they'd checked her credit at the website and then he'd be a happy bachelor in his own house. Say it with me folks, HUH??

She's your dream girl. Dream girl. Yet bad credit means she's not worth your time?? If good credit is something that is very important to you, then you wouldn't really consider someone who defaults on credit cards your "dream" girl, right? Or that means you're so shallow and narrow minded that something related to finances would be a deal-breaker for you in a relationship. Either way, who's the dumb ass for not getting to know a person before you married them? If she lied about it or wasn't up front about it, then she's the bad person, and no website is going to solve that problem for you. That's an honesty and communication problem. And furthermore, who says you have to live in her parent's basement? You can't get a rental?? And if your credit's so golden that you could buy your own house, do it!! You can get a mortgage under one name even though you're married. And if you love your "dream" girl enough to marry her, financial flaws wouldn't scare you away. That's nothing that cannot be fixed in time.
Jerk.

*sigh* I feel better! And now you probably think I'm totally retarded for getting so upset/concerned/angsty about a lame commercial. But you should also understand why I hate that we have cable. Television is hypnotizing! If it's available, I watch it. Movies I can stop and watch in sections, no problem. They don't interfere with my life, and if they make me angsty I sell 'em! But TV gets under my skin. Especially that How It's Made show! I could watch that show all day long, fascinated. I don't wanna be a couch potato!!

We're still unpacking (of course, can't turn the damn TV off long enough to get anything done!). Things at work are going alright...our new employee starts tomorrow. She's got lots of experience and education, and so I'll finally be able to hand off the responsibilities and become more of a support person. Yay!! Everytime I think I'm getting a handle on this job and am finally understanding what's expected of me, something happens that knocks me down and I feel incompetent and retarded all over again. I'm so glad my boss is such a smart and understanding lady. If she wasn't I probably would have jumped ship a long time ago.

But enough about me. Wait, what am I saying! This is my blog, and I can be as self-centered as I want. *grins, sleepily*

Rob Zombie's remake of Halloween is awful. Anyone who enjoys it has issues.

I watched No Man of Her Own last night. It's a 1932 flick with Clark Gable and Carole Lombard. Just an easy, early rom-com, and I totally loved it. Carole Lombard fascinates me. I've tried finding a decent biography of her, but so far no such luck. There is a book all about her and Gable, but it was written by the same guy who wrote that Gable biography I detest so I refuse to get it.

I really must go to sleep now. But until we meet again, be content in knowing that my blog-serial-story is finally starting to take shape! Just have to be patient.

I Grew Up in the 80s

80s Kid Survey
Did you listen to New Kids on the Block?
Heck yes! Danny the bass was my favorite. I watched the Step By Step video on YouTube...so funny!
Did you ever own a slap bracelet?
Yes, but I hated wearing it. I honestly got one purely because all my friends had one.
The Babysitter's Club or Sweet Valley High?
Sweet Valley High!!! That's how I know what a Fiat Spyder looks like, Jason. But that's all I'm going to say about that...
Salute Your Shorts or Hey Dude?
...I must have missed that one.
Kids Incorporated or The Mickey Mouse Club?
I was more into Square One and 3-2-1 Contact on PBS. Didn't have cable until I was about 17.
Did you want Dylan to end up w/ Brenda or Kelly?
I never watched that show when it was airing, but I watched the first three seasons via Netflix, and Dylan soooo should have ended up with Kelly, although Brenda gets a bad rep for no reason.
Who was ALF?
A bottle nosed alien that liked to eat cats.
Do you remember the show Dinosaurs?
Yes, and I was so boy crazy I thought the teenage boy dinosaur was cute.
Do/did you know the words to the Fresh Prince theme song?
Nope, never liked that show.
Kimmie Gibler or Urkel?
Kimmie was definitely less annoying, and I always picked the John Stamos show!
Blossom or Clarissa Explains It All?
Blossom. I liked her pal Six.
Did you have a crush on JTT?
Who??
Bobby Brown or Tevin Campbell?
They both suck.
Step By Step or Full House?
I have to say Full House because of that John Stamos thing...
Did you listen to Milli Vanilli?
I loved Milli Vanilli!!! And I remember listening to the tape and pretending to be at the concert, but I could never figure out which voice belonged to which guy...I was a smart kid.
Mr.Rogers or Reading Rainbow?
Mr Rogers!!! He had the puppets and went to factories, and Reading Rainbow was just that blind guy from Star Trek telling me about all these cool books I haven't read and could never find at the library.
Did you own a Glo Worm?
No, but I had a Lite Brite
Paula Abdul: better now or then?
Then!!! Straight Up was my favorite song until I discovered Nirvana.
Wild 'n' Crazy Kids or Double Dare?
I must have slept through that part of the 80s.
Remember Legends of the Hidden Temple?
As in The Temple of Doom??
The Mighty Ducks or The Little Giants?
Mighty Ducks, that was back when Emilio Estevez was still somewhat attractive.
Did you watch Saved By The Bell?
Occasionally, but never on purpose
Who was hotter: Zack or Slater?
Zack was hotter, but I liked Slater as a person better
Camp Nowhere or House Arrest?
Uh...42.
Did you own a pair of Reebok Pumps?
No, but I had a pair of L.A. Gears! The ones with different colored leather ribbons twisted on the side! I thought they were so cool
Carebears or Smurfs?
I watched more Smurfs then, but now I prefer Carebears
Rainbow Brite or Strawberry Shortcake?
Strawberry Shortcake, but just because the dolls smelled so yummy.
Did you watch Miami Vice?
I remember the theme song, but I don't remember any episodes...
Did you own a pair of Jelly Shoes?
Yes, they were so uncomfortable! Totally cut into my feet.
Did you own a Trapper Keeper?
One. Now that I think about it, it was just a binder that had a velcro thing to keep it closed! What a joke.
Atari or Nintendo?
Intellivision!!!!!

Can I Blame Peer Pressure?

How often do you hold back from saying what you are thinking?
Not very often. I tend to rehearse everything I'm thinking of saying in my head before I say so I can water it down and make it politically correct.
Who was the last person to make you smile?
Paul (Franz Ferdinand guy...his blog makes me smile)
Have you ever kissed in the rain?
Pfffftt
Describe your shirt right now:
It's a blue V-neck that is failing to hide my peeling sunburn
Have you made a mistake this past week?
Yes, but it involves driving Jason's Blazer so I ain't saying what it was.
What's the longest you've talked on the phone?
Probably 3 hours?
Who knows you better than you know yourself?
Whoever that voice in my head belongs to.
Who was the last person you talked to in person?
Jason
Recently done anything you regret?
Yes, getting a pepperoni and provolone sandwich for lunch
Who's Myspace password do you have?
Mine.
What's something you're happy about?
Saw The Dark Knight
What did you do Friday?
Went to work, snuck out early, and watched a movie
What are you doing tonight?
Unpacking and repairing this place
Where are you right now?
Home Crap Home
Do you wish you were somewhere else right now?
No, but I wish I was doing something else...
How long can you go without your mobile phone?
If I don't have it with me, I need it and people try to get ahold of me. If I keep in with me in my pocket, I never need it.
When was the last time you talked to your number 1?
Couple hours ago
Have you ever kissed anyone whose name started with a J?
Um, yes
When did you last eat?
Around 4pm
What time did you go to sleep last night?
Midnightish
What/who woke you up today?
Two cats and an alarm clock
Are you excited for the future?
Very
Thing you did today?
Dishes
Do you own a polo shirt?
Yes, my Toys R Us shirt that I got when I worked there. I sleep in it sometimes.
Are you excited for winter?
Yes because that means I'll be in school and I won't have to hover in front of a fan all day
What are you going to do after this?
If Jason's awake we'll eat dinner, otherwise I'll start cleaning up my office
Whose car were you in last?
Mine
Where's your cell phone?
On my desk
What is the last thing you thought about?
Nasty wallpaper
If you could move somewhere else, would you?
Yes, but this is where ISU is so we're staying here.
Do you still turn to your parents for advice?
Constantly, especially since they don't get offended if I don't take their advice
If someone gave you $100, would you save it or spend it?
I'd spend it...$80 on something we need, $20 on something fun.
Do you find the opposite sex confusing?
Nah. Boys really aren't that complex, and that's why complex girls usually can't figure them out.
Would you cry if you found out you were pregnant?
Yes because that would mean Jason would ditch me (and rightfully so!)
Have you ever thought about getting your nose pierced?
Same day I thought about cutting off my baby toe and turning it into a necklace
Does your crush live close or miles away?
Does anyone really know where Eric Bana lives??
Can you admit when you're wrong?
Yes, the problem is convincing me that I'm wrong
Do you hate smokers?
Yes, but only because smoking is inconsiderate and rude.
Why did you kiss the last person you did?
Because he's so cute
Do you like to argue?
No but I do like a good debate, assuming the other person isn't a stubborn closed-minded pighead.
Do you miss anyone right now?
Of course
Can you recall the last time you liked someone?
I like people right now!!

Blog Withdrawal

So sorry if I've caused the dreaded blog withdrawal for any of my faithful readers! Things are busy and crazy, and I've only recently set up my computer.

We moved into our rental last week. If we were buying this place I would be so happy...but the fact that we're renting makes the peeling wallpaper, two-pronged outlets, tiny bathroom, dead lawn, and lack of a dead bolt extremely unsettling. Let that be a lesson to us--always look at a prospective new home when no one lives there before committing to it. Our landlord has offered to reimburse us for the price of materials if we want to do repairs...and we totally do, but I want that whole reimbursement thing in writing first! And he'd only give us a six month lease which makes me think he's hoping we'll fix it up just good enough so that he can sell it.

We had Jason's friend Travis come up from Boise to help us move...and to introduce him to my friend Cindy. It's true what they say--there's a curse on the head of anyone who tries to fix up their friends! Travis and Cindy hit it off, sort of, when they spoke to each other, but mostly the weekend was filled with awkward silences and Jason and I helping them get to know each other. Jeez I hate fixing people up!! Especially shy ones! The rest is up to them. I'm done throwing them together!

The Dark Knight is awesome. I had two small issues with it--Katie Holmes was waaay better than Maggie Gyllenhaal, and Aaron Eckhart's pretend eye just did not work. But that's it! Great show. We just might go see it in the theater again when it's less crowded.

Well I'm off to pull nails out of the walls, repair holes, and maybe start ripping down some wallpaper.

Don't Hold Your Breath

Alright, I know I said I'd blog about something controversial and/or offensive, but I'm just not feeling it today! You'll have to wait for the opinionated tirade that is sure to spew from my brain someday.

In case you didn't catch it in the last blog, we got the house we were hoping for! We're going to continue to rent. We could buy, but it would make things pretty tight. And this way when I graduate we can just leave town without having to sell a house. The house we're moving into next weekend is a 4 bedroom, 2 bath, 2 car garage, finished basement, with a fenced yard. It needs some love, and we're ready to give it! Granted we're not going to do anything serious to the house (like replacing the wood paneling), but I think it will look better when we leave than it does now. At this point just having our own place is wonderful. I love my parents, but nobody wants roommates. (And you should have seen the glee on Dad's face when we told them we got the house--I'm sure he did a happy dance in his garage and yelled out "No more cars in my driveway! No more cat toys on the floor! Now I can watch TV in my underwear again!")

I keep having dreams about people from the past. There have been so many people in my life that have been important and have changed who I am, people I've loved and cared about. And now those people have decided they don't want to know me. It makes me think/believe that I was never special to them, and that they never loved me. It's crazy how many people fit into this category. Is it me? Am I that horrendous a person? Is that just the way life is? And more importantly, if I saw one of those people, would I even be able to look at them? The thought of seeing, for example, Nick, damn near brings on an anxiety attack. Maybe I'm being selfish to want to have an effect on other people's lives. Maybe my self esteem shouldn't be so low that I think I don't.

I am grateful for what I do have: the most wonderful and perfect (for me) husband, caring parents, my awesome brother Danny and his family, and the best in-laws I ever could have hoped for. I wouldn't trade any one of them for anything.

So what's the answer? All I can be is me. I strive to be the best me possible. I try to behave in a way that makes me proud of who I am and what I do. I learn from my mistakes as best I can so I might have fewer regrets. Most of all, I cling to my self-respect.

Oh yeah, Hancock sucks.

Pretend It's Junior High

Another "Answer the Lame Question" thing...you don't have to read it.

1) What would you like to say to the first person on your top friends list (MySpace)?
You can relax now, Jason
2) What was the last reason you were mad? That movie Wall*E made me mad.
3) Where is your cell phone? In my ginormous purse
4) Do you have a job? Where? Yes, at a hospital.
5) Where do you want to go? Grad school
6) Where did you sleep last night? In my room
7) What time did you go to sleep last night? Around the time I got tired of playing Guitar Hero Aerosmith
8) What woke you up today? Three alarm clocks, three cats, a full bladder, and an empty stomach (and yes, it takes all those things to get me out of bed in the morning)
9) Any tattoos? No, I don't even like writing stuff on my hands.
10) Your ex shows up randomly at your house, what do you say? "Have you been eating retard sandwiches again?"
11) Do you have any piercings? Nope
12) Do you have any weird inside jokes? Marsha Porter!! and It's-like-learning-a-second-language!
13) What did you do this weekend? Laundry, house hunting, Guitar Hero, and I read lots of Jane Eyre
14) How is your heart right now? Wimpy.
15) Have you ever been given a promise ring? No, what a joke.
16) Have you ever tried to break someone up? No.
17) When was the last time you talked to one of your best friends? I talk to Jason every day *Awww*
18) Where is your best friend? Sitting at his desk, eating PB&J, WoWing.
19) Do you think you can last in a relationship for 6 months without cheating? Yes. Stupid question.
20) Who was the last person to make you laugh? Jason.
21) Anything annoying you right now? The Drive Ins are both closed for the rest of the summer. That is very annoying.
22) Who has your heart? Uh, me? Unless it fell out through my belly button.
23) Have you done anything embarrassing lately? I wore underwear with big rainbows on them to work, and I didn't realize that my pants were see-through until almost lunch time.
24) Who's the last person of the opposite sex you hugged? Jason
25) Dark hair or light hair in the opposite sex? I dig gray hair, like Race Bannon.
26) What was your dream about last night? The last dream I remember had George Clooney following me around because one of the hospital lunch ladies was chasing him, and she was scared of me.
27) How often do you drive? Where do you go? I drive 50 miles to work, then 50 miles home. Maybe twice a week we'll stop at the store on the way home, and on the weekends we might go driving around.
28) Do you have a Facebook? No. It's taking all my energy to not delete my MySpace (again) so I don't need to add another networking site.
29) Are you currently frustrated with anyone? Not really. Little frustrated with myself, but that's nothing new.
30) Who is the last person to call you babe? Jason
31) Do you miss anyone? Yes, I miss Danny and his family!!!
32) How is your hair right now? crunchy curly
33) Have you ever been called Prince/Princess? Yes, but only because I am a princess
34) What is tomorrow? Any plans? Tomorrow is the 4th. We'll probably barbecue, but nothing too fancy.
35) Do you wear makeup every day? Yes, mascara everyday. On the days I work I'll wear more because I have to interact with lots of VPs and doctors, and my coworker/office mate is super cute (and I hate to be ignored).
36) If you could change one thing now, what would it be? We'd be buying the house we got instead of renting.

Am I Disclaiming Myself?

Another week another dollar. We've found a house we want...should find out tomorrow if the owner believes us "worthy" of it.

I was thinking about my previous disclaimer, and about my little blog explanation on the home page . . . As much as I talk about being uncensored and using this blog as my own little soap box, I don't seem to rattle on about the things I really want to blab about.

Everytime I think of a subject I'd love to talk about, I remember the five or so people who I know routinely read my blog. My politically correct side, which always tries to be respectful and not offend anybody, stops me from blogging about insert topic here. So political correctness leads to hypocrisy, eh?

My fiesty side (being egged on by my tiredness) is saying "Hey! If they don't approve, they don't hafta read it." So I'm thinking maybe this weekend I'll write an actual opinionated blog (about something other than movies) just to test the waters. That's fair warning, m'mkay?

And I'm still trying to figure out the story I want to tell. I've got the character, now I need the starting off point. (Don't expect too much, alrighty?)

Get Your Kicks With Flicks

Update on the Sprint mess: Tuesday after work we went to the Sprint store. The cleavage baring liar was not working, and the girl who helped us was very friendly. She had had to deal with the exact same problem we had before. Apparently it had even happened to her as a customer once. She assured us that although she couldn't fix the problem herself because only a Sprint "rep" can credit an account, she would have it fixed and call me with our new balance. I'm still waiting for the call, and our balance online has not been corrected. Am I surprised? Not really.

Moving on. If you're new to the blog, I like movies. I won't watch just anything, but when I find something I like, I'm shameless about it. I'll watch it twice in a day. I'll get action figures and posters (you should see the sweet Wolverine poster I scored at the comic book store this weekend--not Hugh Jackman, sadly, but still very nice). But I do try to be honest and admit the movie's shortcomings. For instance, I'm well aware of how incredibly lame Alien Vs Predator is, but so what? It's better than the sequel, to be sure, and I enjoy it. Another example is The Descent. I love love love that movie (the scary one about chicks with picks in a cave), but shouldn't the monsters have had extremely amazing night vision instead of being blind? And blood would coagulate, ball up, get dry and flaky...there wouldn't be a giant lake of it. But seriously, I want to go watch that movie again right now because it's so cool (and it made my sweet mom scream). Here's some more random movie chatter, based on my weekend.

Wall*E. Pixar movies are usually pretty good, and the shorts at the beginning are almost always amazing, if not better than the actual movie. (The old guy playing chess was so much better than A Bug's Life, but that Sheep shearing one was craptastic.) Wall*E starts with one of the best shorts ever about a magician and his white rabbit. The movie itself however...*yawn* Too long, and way too anti-human-society. I feel like I was tricked into watching An Inconvenient Truth. Yes there are funny parts, and yes the robot animation is awesome and Wall*E himself is adorable. But the humans are portrayed as lazy pigs who don't look past the end of their own nose. Are there people like that? Sure. Do I want to watch a movie about them? Not even a little bit. (An interesting side note, we only remember seeing white folks portrayed in the movie. What's up with that? Only the whities survived? Huh?) It's like the movie is trying to convince our society to commit suicide. We're shown as such awful, gluttonous, obnoxious bastards that you feel like you're supposed to apologize for being born and for being a plague upon the planet. Were the Pixar people sitting around in their creative meetings talking about the best way to collectively "wag their fingers" at the movie going public? Can you tell I left the theater angry? It's like when you were a teenager at work, and no matter what you did it was always wrong, never good enough, and you were always in trouble with the boss. Well excuse me, Pixar people. Sorry to have offended you. I know I don't drive a hybrid. I don't recycle my aluminum cans. It's been years since I planted a tree. And I keep breathing out that nasty carbon dioxide stuff that's causing "global warming." But I can't afford a Prius right now. I don't have a yard to plant a tree in. And I'm going to keep breathing for as long as I can. And if you and the rest of Hollywood keep clucking your tongue at me and chanting "Shame shame!!" I guarantee you I'll be happy to stop going to your movies, especially the "comedy for the family" ones. Oh, and, Pixar? If you need a corporate partner, I hear Sprint could use some financial assistance. Frah huh ha HA ha hA!!

I feel better now. That's off my chest (been festering there for awhile, can you tell?).
Noises Off. My sister-in-law recommended that I watch this one. So I Netflixed it. It's about a play, or, about the folks involved in the play. I'm pretty sure Jason liked it simply because he could watch Nicolette Sheridan running around in her undies. I enjoyed it. It reminded me a lot of doing the drama club thing in high school. I don't think we ever got that crazy, but probably only because we didn't care that much. We were "too cool" if you know what I mean. (Don't you think so, Amanda? Hey remember this one--"Sunny, Matt's in the green room--*poof!* Sunny? Where'd Sunny go??")
Now, Voyager. Dad had a little gig Saturday night, so I made Mom sit down and watch this one with me. I managed not to cry this time!! I could have, to be sure, but I held it in. I got the book, too. I imagine I'll be a typical girl sob fest the whole time I'm reading it. I'm such a girl. It's really not that great of a movie. And the score is so incredibly melodramatic. But I'm so hooked on this one. Bette Davis, Paul Henreid, and Claude Rains can do no wrong. So say we all.
Battlestar Galactica. Damn you, Jason, for hooking me on this show!!!!!!! I'm more hooked on it than I was on that season of The Bachelor (the one with Andy the sailor--I wouldn't answer my phone or anything while that show was on, and I so liked the girl he didn't pick better, but of course, he picked the right girl for him).

I'm reading Jane Eyre. I'm loving it, too. I'll watch the movie again when I'm done. What a mushy girl I turned out to be . . .

Spitting Mad

Nothing like a horrible customer service experience to properly end a Monday!

When we moved, we needed new phone numbers. Jason needed a new phone, so we visited a Sprint store. While waiting for the sole clerk to help us, we got to listen to her get a credit check on another customer in the store. We heard his full name (spelled, even), birth date, and social security number. (Which reminded me of the last time we were in a Sprint store in Boise--the clerk read aloud my password and spelled it for the person on the phone.)

Jason picked out his new phone. We got our new numbers, and the girl said that the phone Jason picked wasn't in stock so she'd order it in, and we should have it in about 4 days. My phone didn't work, and I spent 45 minutes on the phone with a Sprint rep. We found out that the girl had programmed it wrong. Nice.

Five days later Jason gets a call to pick up his new phone. He goes in to the store, and she says "Oops, this phone isn't compatible with your plan!" So he picks a different phone, and *gasp* it's not in stock. She orders it and says it'll be in later on that week.

A whole week passes. Jason finally gets his new phone. Things are calm.

Then, we get the bill. The bill is four times what it should be...but there's no detail in the 9 pages of what the charges are. There's a full description of the plan we're in, a breakdown of how many minutes we used, and lots of ads! But all the charges listed aren't even a quarter of the total amount.

So I go online, and guess what?? We were charged for the first phone that we never got. And we were charged an upgrade fee for that phone. And we were charged Overnight Shipping for both phones. WTF??

I called the "customer service" line. The girl had such a heavy Spanish accent I could barely understand her. After ten minutes of explaining as simply as possible what happened, she put me on hold to discuss the matter with her "superviser." Five minutes later, she tells me that since the problem happened in the store, we have to go back to the store to have the credit put on our account.

Great. Another evening to spend standing around in the Sprint store so the soulless incompetent clerk can play like she's helping us, while baring her cleavage for all the world to see.

I am so incredibly grumpy. So much that I'm thinking about calling Verizon and seeing what kind of plan they could offer us...and then paying Sprint the ridiculous early termination fee and buying new phones. I'm so not excited at the idea of sending them my hard earned cash when all they want to do is waste my time and hand out the personal information of their customers.

Please share this blog with EVERYBODY!!! Maybe we can protect someone else from having such a nasty experience.

Hair Raising

Before I share my story relating to the subject line, I have to show off my new Lego action figures. From left to right it's Apollo (complete with quasi-mohawk and beer stein), Starbuck (with a deck of cards and a cigar), a Cylon (toaster), Six (Tricia Helfer), Eight (Boomer), and Three (Lucy Lawless). I think there's a Baltar and a Roslin available too... I'm such a geek. We visited a comic bookstore today, and I was able to recognize way too many characters.
Moving on!


The last time I got a perm I was about 12 years old. I didn't want one, but I wasn't up for telling my mom that. So I got the perm, and when I got home I started brushing my hair furiously to get rid of the curl...until I realized that perms are expensive and I'd get in trouble for wasting the money. So half of my head was curly, the rest was pretty limp. My mom cussed the hair salon for not doing a good job, and swore she'd never go back.

Since then I've been fighting with my hair. I have some natural curl, but not enough to get a curly look from it. So I blow dry it, use a curling iron, use a blow dryer/curling iron combo, use hot rollers, etc. I waste so much time every morning fixing my hair and I always hate the way it turns out.

That's also my own fault...the last time I had my hair professionally cut was probably...uh, eight years ago? I was always too cheap to pay for a good hair cut, so I'd go to Wal Mart or Great Clips, and I always ended up having to fix it. So I decided I could give myself a bad haircut for free! And I did, without fail.



This summer is a time for change. If I got a perm, I wouldn't spend so much time and energy on my hair everyday. Time is money, you know. So I asked Mom where a reliable hair salon was, and she told me that Josie's was still open. I'd gotten my hair cut at Josie's when I was about 6, and I still remember it. She gave me hot chocolate and a necklace--very very big deal when you're a kid. So I scheduled an appointment at Josie's.

When I walked into the place, I stepped into a time warp. There were ancient hair dryers (the kind you sit under), old wood and naughahide chairs, stacks of tabloids, and no shortage of cute little old ladies. There was no receptionist and no one really paid attention to me...that is until Josie herself spotted me.

Josie is a tiny old Chinese lady. She was wearing very tall shoes and still didn't come up to my shoulders. She was in the back setting another lady's hair, but she waved her arm at me and hollered "Come in! Come back here! Sit down I take care of you!" Then she laughed/giggled. You couldn't not smile at this lady. She smiles nonstop, and her laugh ends in an upward giggle thing...hard to describe, but it was infectious.

Before I knew it I was plopped into her chair. She asked me what kind of perm I wanted (loose spiral), and got busy. I couldn't get a word in: "Your hair so long, I love it!" and "Is this your real color? Do you color? I love this color! I know it real!" and "How's your mother? She nice lady!" and "You wash hair today, right? It nice and clean. Oh you're so pretty!" I was able to mention that I'd been in for a haircut when I was six...that was a mistake! "Oh I remember you! Not name but I remember face! You older but you just cuter!" then she explained to all the ladies sitting nearby "I cut her hair since she six years old! Now she grown up but cuter!" Then she started asking about my sister (no sister) and when I was going to move to Utah...so I told her we were moving to Pocatello so I could go to school. Again she addressed the other ladies "She so smart this one! She going to school! She going to move to Utah and go to school where her sister is!"

Again, Josie is very old. I'm guessing she's in her late seventies. Her eyes were full of cataracts. She asked me questions over and over and never remembered what I told her. But she knows hair! She was taking care of four of us at once and doing fine.

But she's a feisty lady! Spiral perms are done with these tube things...you wrap the hair around them then plug the tube into itself...and my hair was pulled and tugged mercilessly. When Josie needed my head up or down she just moved it! She actually got me in the eye twice--good thing I blink quickly. One of the other hair dressers came over at one point to ask for some cash. Josie laughingly scolded her "No I working on lady! You come back later! ha hA" and as soon as she left Josie spoke into my ear "She crazy lady, has bipolar. She nice but she have problems. Got to be professional, she ask me for money!" Then she laughed again and went back to yanking on my hairs.

Two and a half hours later I was done. Josie told me at least six times to wash my hair in the morning, come back for a pedicure, and send my mom in to see her (I don't think she knows my mom anymore than she knows me--but you don't stay in that business very long without pretending you know everybody). I gave her a healthy tip and left. Don't think I'll go back, but only because I probably won't be getting my hair professionally done for another eight years.
Here's some before and after shots for ya!